How long have you been playing paintball? What was the first team you’ve ever played on?

I first played paintball in 1995 but didn’t play any tournaments or get serious about it until around 2000. My first team was “Dirty Sanchez” with HS buddies and we played NPUCTS and Seth’s IEP series.

You lived near Fargo at that time correct?

Nope, I lived in Bottineau ND, about 5 hrs NW of the FM area. Also known as butt fuck egypt? I imagine there are a lot of corn fields and old tractor equipment?No, actually Bottineau is in one of the few places IN ND that isn’t flat and is naturally forrested. I lived 5 minutes from Canada so I spent some quality time up there also.

What are some of the other teams you’ve played for?

More than I can count but off the top of my head:
Dark Octane
High Octane
Cream
IEP
701 Inc
Ignition
North$ide
Magnum
Superior Firepower
Fargo United
Dirtwarriors
Air Assault

Do you still have your jerseys from all of these teams?

Nope. most have been traded or thieved.

Of the teams you’ve played for, which team did you think had the most potenital at the time?

I don’t believe in “potential” in regards to paintball. The attrition rate is too high to plan more than 90 days ahead. People are flakes. To answer the question, I would have to change it to which team won the most, which would have been AAF.

Why do you think it is so hard to get a commitment out of paintball players? Why do you think they flake out so much?

Cause 99% of paintball players are children or dickbeaters living a cartoon life in their parents basement.

What was paintball like back when you started, and how has it changed for you over the years?

It was men in the woods, now its children hiding behind balloons.

Do you think it will ever trend back towards being played in the woods?

Already has. We will be straight competition in woods within 5 years.

How did you get started in paintball?

Heard some guys talking about it at a church youth group. We all planned to go out and play, I was the only one that showed up the first time.

Did you play with yourself?

I’m sure I did at some point that day, I was 14. But in regards to paintball, no, I ended up getting blasted by the guys that did show up.

You’ve been seen at a few NPPL & PSPs, what are your thoughts on those series? Do you prefer one over the other?

Getting on an airplane to play paintball is always a poor choice. Personally, I preferred the NPPL before it went bankrupt when they would have 5 different field layouts. I can’t stand crowd participation in the PSP. Today though: NPPL < PSP in terms of logistics, structure, competition, etc..

How often do you practice per week and how far do you have to travel to practice?

Practice on most Sundays. Two blocks if its at AA, 30 minutes if at APPG. I used to play more when I lived in Fargo and drove down almost every weekend.

Who does your team usually scrimmage against? Are the practices ever open to the public or are they invite only?

I hate open practices as it usually devolves into teams jockeying for field time. We usually scrimmage either FU or SP. We have gone out against Absolute and HG recently which was great.

What was your greatest achievement so far in your paintball career?

Tampa 2007, 16-0.

What events have you won?

A pile of misc local events throughout ND, MN, and WI. A couple Vicious series events. NPPL Boston 2006 D3 7man. NPPL Tampa 2007 D3 7man.

What was the best prize package you’ve ever won?

We brought home over $10K from the NPPL between July 2006 and July 2007.

Did any of the players actually get to see any of that money or what happened with it?

The $ went back into the team and paid for future events.

That sounds like someone with a gambling problem, do you think the team came out ahead that season? Did you even break even?

When you factor in all the extraneous costs of paintball? Flights, hotel, van rental, food, etc? Not even close.

How much do you estimate that you spend a year on playing paintball, including travel & gear?

Too much.

What gun do you use, and why do you like it?

Planet Eclipse EGOs and GEOs. They always work: any weather, any paint, anywhere.

What all did you have to do for your planet eclipse certification?

Went to a class and worked an event. I’m supposed to work more events but I’m not too motivated to fly out and sit around fixing stuff that could have been done by reading the manual.

How many guns do you currently have in your arsenal?

I was up to 42 and had an intervention (ie my wife). I am currently at 17. There’s a half dozen I will never sell but I’ve been trimming it down.

Can you tell us about some of your favorite guns?

Slide cockers, as an ability to shoot one of these fast was enough to get you on a team back in the day. As someone who spends a good amount of his time fixing guns, I can tell you that there are very few modern systems worth a shit in the long term. Eclipse and Macdev are at the top right now.

What suggestions do you have for new players?

Quit paintball and play a real sport.

Why? So you can reign supreme in D4 for life?

In all seriousness, play paintball for fun, but if you gravitate towards the competition side you are in for a total shit show. There is no coherent organization and only the beginning of a local < regional < national structure.

What is it like working for a paintball field?

People always say “I would love to work at a PAINTBALL field!” when in reality it is “I would love to WORK at a paintball field”. I’m lucky to have my job and appreciate all of it, both the good and the bad. What is a typical work day like for you?Answering the phone, going to the post office, the internet, always cleaning something, fixing broken guns, polishing the trophy collection. AKA “The DREAM” according to faceless internet tuffstuffs. How did you land this position?My wife agreed to move down to the cities.

What is your best memory in paintball?

My best memory of paintball isn’t my favorite, but it was World Cup 2005 when I realized that I wasn’t going to go to another national event and not win. That decision became the foundation for the team that would turn into AAF. The next event I played was NPPL Boston 2006 which we practiced for 8 months for and won it.

Are there any people who have been influential on your playing style? Who are they and how have they impacted your game?

Tony Morris, a Lockout player that coached me when I first got into competition paintball in ND taught me the basics, Seth Osburnsen for his view on a winning mindset. Jay Shelley for his methodical play.

Do you know the first paintball player to have used the term “Methodical” in regards to playing paintball?

Jay was the first I knew to really apply it toward a team dynamic and not just emphasizing it across the back row.

What do you think your greatest strength in paintball is?

My mindset, staying calm (usually). I lane weak ass bitches in D4 pretty consistently.

What do you need improvement on?

Playing above D4.

Do you consider yourself a sandbagger?

Nope. I logged onto the APPA early this year and it said D4. So I went with it. Since 2005, the APPA has ranked and re-ranked me 5x. D4-D2-D3-D2-D4 Who did you have to sleep with for that to happen? No one, I just spend too much time “coaching”. This year I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore, I guess enough time had elapsed that my old events no longer counted for so much. Right now, I would rather play and lose and coach and win.

Do you think the ranking system makes any sense at all? Do you think using APPA is important for tournaments to be successful?

The UCP will make complete sense in a couple years if they actually stick to it (they aren’t right now…). I think any serious event has to use the APPA (and yes, I think the NPPL is retarded for not using it).

Alot of players are complaining that nearly everyone is ranked too low, what does it take for a player to move up the ranking system and why aren’t more players ranked higher?

The UCP moves you up according to how well you do. Get smashed and you stay at the same level, tear it up and you move up. What could be simpler? Players aren’t ranked high because they didn’t do well at what they played or they played it so long ago that it is no longer worth full value (ie events pre 2k5 = 50%).

What made the Air Assault series decide to use the APPA system, and do you think it is really neccessary given that there is only one division?

Yes, as someone who was involved with other series (both APPA and non-APPA), it is a neccesity, especially given our immense prize packages.

Do you think the APPA system does a good job at preventing sandbagging?

Depends on your definition of sandbagging. The APPA definitely made it easier for tournament promoters to hold legit events.

Do you think that MN will ever have teams competing in multiple divisions (at local events) again?

Yes. with the UCP it is inevitable. Most players involved in the AA Race 2 series will be D3 next season (provided the UCP doesn’t change).

What do you think needs to happen in Minnesota to develop divisional teams that will be able to compete nationally?

The same thing that happened in the past. A group of ADULTS need to step up and put the team before themselves. Group accountability through personal responsibility. I see way too many players that are just in it for themselves and their playing time comes before hanging flags.

What position do you currently play on the field?

I guard the flag in back center.

Why do you think your team has placed you in that role?

Cause I’m fat.

So there is a place for fat people in paintball after all?

Well, I have more paintball trophies than everyone in MN reading this save for maybe 4 or 5 others, so yeah.

Describe your style of play on the field.

Lane, drop clips, hide, drop some more clips. Fill up or out as needed or just hide some more. Talk loudly about things that are happening while I’m hiding.

Finally what MN Paintball player (Past or Present) would you like to see featured next?

Reed Wilson, MN’s best female player.

How did you meet Shorty? What interesting things do you have to say about him?

I first met Reed playing NLPLs and we had a pretty intense bromance in the summer of 08 when he was playing with AA. I look forward to getting my hair cut when he opens his salon.